When I started painting I had no money. I was painting on cardboard. I would paint over failed paintings – adding layer upon frustrating layer of unfocused muddy paint. I was trying to fix them. I was being economical. When I was done, I still had failed paintings plus I had no paint.
I should have quit when I was making poor compositions of crappy ideas. But instead of wiping off or starting over, I kept pounding away.
I would go back to old failed paintings to hide from the work that was going well because I was afraid of screwing it up.
Over the years I have gotten better at understanding this trap. Now I remind myself that I am not 22 years old anymore and I know what I am doing. I tell myself to stop wasting time on rescuing. Going back is a trap and a waste of time and money.
Instead, I push myself to move forward whether I screw it up or not.
As an artist giving myself permission to play is at the heart of my practice.
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